This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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