need another drink. this is the easiest way
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
