booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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