Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All the doctor said was why
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
