everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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