I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
