This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
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I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.