Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
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he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.