Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
