When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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