yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
