I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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