I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
