he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
