i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
