before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
