Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize