I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
