Don't you send me to vm
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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