no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
