If i come over, it means nothing
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize