I am in a vortex of obligation.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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