You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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