Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
