covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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