opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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