And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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