I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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