Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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