dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
