ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
