i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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