And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
