she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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