Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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