I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
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I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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