I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
