I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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