She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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