you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
