I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
