I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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