i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
a search helicopter?!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.