haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
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I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
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it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.