What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
