just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
