He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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