I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
