Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
