I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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