At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
