ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
