Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
