He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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