Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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