come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
