I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
