We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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