well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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